Why putting boundaries is essential?

Hello my beautiful Angels,

In the field of Clinical Psychology, there are some concepts that cross all mental health difficulties taken together. One of these is the word ‘boundary’.

During childhood, learning how to set up appropriate boundaries between ourselves and the external world, including parents, extended family and society enables us to make a difference between :

Who we are and who the others are.

The limitations of our body i.e. where does our body ‘ends up’ and where does other people’s bodies ‘start’?

What can I do to others and what others can do to me.

Rules that I follow and rules that other people make me follow.

When internalised, boundaries enable us to understand the right family and societal rules that we need to follow in order to become healthy and balanced individuals. We also learn to create views and opinions and to identify when and whether it’s suitable to express them (or not). We learn to say ‘Yes’ and ‘No’. We learn to make people respect us.

My patients often tell me: ‘My husband did this to me. It’s not fair’ or ‘My boss is super rude with me’ or ‘I don’t have a feeling that my friends respect me’.

Remember one thing: people will do what you allow them to do. Nothing less, nothing more. The solution is to set up the appropriate boundaries in the right moment. That’s all.

If you are currently experiencing difficulties, you need to know that you are not alone. Do not hesitate to contact me on info@angelpsychology.com or on my social networks. I will be glad to chat with you.

Please note that Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) and Psychodynamic Therapy will help you acquire the knowledge and reflection you need. Learn more about Psychodynamic Therapy here and about CBT here. Don't forget that you can work with me at home. Learn more about online psychotherapy here.

With warm wishes,
Dr Ivanka Ezhova

Founder of Angel Psychological Therapy - Online Psychological Therapy

A warm thanks to Darina Boneva for the wonderful photo of me at Waterloo Station, London.