Why is it difficult to initiate changes?

When it comes to psychology and to personal development, everybody loves talking about change. I often come across various books, webinars, and videos teaching people how to initiate changes in order to improve their lives or themselves. However, thinking about changes is much easier that initiating them. People usually stop the changing process when they need to act.

There are many underlying reasons for this. Some of them might be related to individuals’ specific personalities and abilities to build coping strategies. A coping strategy is a mental and behavioural process that enable people to adapt to a new context. The more their capacity to create effective coping strategies is developed, the more decisive and self-assured to initiate changes people tend to be.  

Another reason hindering the action of change is the fear that you will lose everything you have achieved so far. I do not know how many times I have heard my patients vocalising phrases such as: ‘If I leave this job, what guarantees that the new one will satisfy me?’ ; ‘If I break with my partner, will I meet someone better?’ ; ‘If I invest everything that I have, I will not be financially secure anymore’. 

Initiating a change does not mean that you need to leave everything in order to embrace something new. You will apply all the wisdom, learnings, experiences and achievements to your new life or activity. This means that you are moving out of your comfort zone and you step into a new reality that you will fill with your acquired and achieved experience. The new reality becomes then familiar and you are motivated to step into a new thing again. 

Why don’t you see change as an empty space that you will fill with your story, experiences, feelings, emotions and everything you can offer yourself to become a different version of yourself? 

With warm wishes,

Dr Ivanka Ezhova (please read biography here).