Three reasons your doubt yourself

Self-doubt is a personal trait that many people have, no matter their culture and nationality. Self-doubt may be related to parenting styles you were exposed to as a child; family and social interactions such as parent-child communication; teacher-child communication and childhood friendships.

The processes of identification and imitation might also play a role as very early children unconsciously choose individuals they wish to be like at this stage in their life.

Self-doubt and self-esteem are interrelated. People with low self-esteem tend to self-doubt more. In general, self-doubt stops when people improve their self-esteem.

Here are three potential reasons you self-doubt.

Feeling ‘not enough’

Have you ever thought : ‘I am not beautiful enough’; ‘I am not smart enough’; ‘I am not successful enough’? Please note that people naturally tend to compare to each other. This process is called ‘social comparison’ and it’s at the core of identity construction and development. The problem with social comparison is that it works for you during childhood, but things change when you grow up. This is because you tend to compare to people who have achieved more than you or who in your eyes are better than you. Instead of being inspired by their achievements and be happy for them, you might think : ‘Look at them, I am so miserable compared to them’.

The only way to eliminate this feeling is to start to compare yourself to how you were in the past. Run your own course and always compete with yourself. Compare how you are now to how you were last month, last year or three years ago.

Remember – it’s methodologically not possible to compare to anybody else, even to your siblings, because comparison can only be done in a homogenous context. Even comparison between identical twins is difficult!

Every human being is unique. This uniqueness makes the comparison impossible.

Limiting self-beliefs

Self-beliefs are much more powerful than external statements. In other words, we limit ourselves much more that others are able to do. Limiting self-beliefs are these little voices that you hear deep in your mind, than tell you: ‘You are not going to make it’; ‘You will fail’; ‘It’s not worth doing it’.

You can eliminate limiting self-beliefs through testing. Simply test them and see whether they are right or wrong. If you think that you are going to fail, then act and see whether you will really fail. Cognitive Behaviour Therapy is an excellent method to help you deprogramme your limiting self-beliefs and reprogramme new and healthier behaviours.

Early life

Many of my private clients are afraid to make changes as they fear to repeat mistakes from their early lives. Things become more complex when people have children. Nobody wants to hurt their loved-ones and sacrifice their happiness.

You can eliminate fears related to past mistakes by creating a good plan for action and tend not to take huge risks. In this way, you will not feel guilty and insecure.

These three techniques are more powerful than you think. Try and apply them without limitation.

If you like this article, you might also be interested in how to create a success mindset. Please click here. You might also like to know how to build a positive mind. Please click here.

If you are currently experiencing difficulties, you need to know that you are not alone. Do not hesitate to contact me on info@angelpsychology.com or on my social networks. I will be glad to chat with you.

Please note that Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) and Psychodynamic Therapy will help you acquire the knowledge and reflection you need. Learn more about Psychodynamic Therapy here and about CBT here. Don't forget that you can work with me at home. Learn more about online psychotherapy here.

With warm wishes,
Dr Ivanka Ezhova

Founder of Angel Psychological Therapy - Online Psychological Therapy