Is perfectionism healthy?

Perfectionism is a personality trait where the person thinks they are never good enough and hold themselves to extremely high standards.

Some people see perfectionism as a strength and a positive skill that continuously motivates them to do better and to achieve success.

Perfectionism may be unhealthy and may lead to unbalanced life. Some people might develop depression, anxiety, eating disorders and self-harm. This is because whatever they do, it is never enough, so perfectionists may see themselves as failures or individuals that are not able to achieve great things.

Perfectionism affects all age groups and can lead to obsession with success. It is linked to self-esteem and self-worth.

What are the symptoms of perfectionism?

Perfectionists are generally obsessed with rules. They feel good when everything is in order, no matter when talking about personal, social, intimate or professional relationships and situations. They may make lists of things they need to do and they expect others to respect their lists and orders as well.

Relationship problems come when perfectionists estimate that others don’t use the same ‘methodology’ as themselves. They might become very controlling when it comes to relationships as they want to impose their approach to life. This is because they are intimately persuaded that it’s the best approach that will bring success and happiness.

Perfectionists struggle to relax. Relaxation might be considered as a waste of time. When doing things, perfectionists have a feeling that it’s never good enough and that someone else did better than them. They tend to compare themselves to very successful people. Social comparison to successful people comes as ‘adrenaline’ that pushes them to try harder. They rarely compare themselves to people they consider less successful than them.

What causes perfectionism?

Research has demonstrated that there is no specific cause or association of causes that trigger perfectionism. Some researchers think that it’s a learned behaviour. This means that during childhood, the child was raised in a very demanding, rigorous and exigent environment where the child was continuously pushed to do and achieve more and more. Achieving more was the route to love and attention. For this reason, perfectionists tend to gradually develop themselves and give their best no matter they do, otherwise they will not deserve love and attention.

Perfectionism may also play the role of defense mechanism against low self-esteem. Three years ago, I worked with a client who was affected with low self-esteem and low self-worth. It wasn’t possible for him to give himself positive and loving feedbacks. He built a successful business and started to gain a lot of money. People started to praise him and cite him as a reference for success. His growing success enabled him to receive positive feedback from the outside as it was not possible to receive this from the inside.

Treatments

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) gives excellent results when treating perfectionism. It enables the patient the deprogramme the unhealthy behaviour and thinking patterns and to rebuild a healthier one. Psychodynamic (Psychoanalytic) Therapy help the patient reflect on childhood and early life experiences in order to identify unhealthy learned behaviours and motivations. Learn more about Psychodynamic Therapy here and about CBT here. Don't forget that you can work with me at home. Learn more about online psychotherapy here.

If you would like to learn more about psychological treatments, email me on: info@angelpsychology.com. Do not hesitate to visit www.angelpsychology.com to get free access to high-quality information about psychological conditions.

With warm wishes,

Dr Ivanka Ezhova

Founder of Angel Psychological Therapy – Online Psychological Therapy