Four ways to build a strong intimate relationship?

When a new person comes into your life, you might think that love will last forever. However, the daily routine and small issues that go with it may put your love story on the back burner, and let it fall away.

Many people have difficulties to keep intimacy alive in a long-term relationship. With the time, many of you tend to lower your expectations of romantic and glamourous relationship, and to hide your feelings and desires. This is why, always having an open and sincere dialogue is pivotal to build a strong and healthy intimate relationship.

Here are four tips that will help you develop good communication skills.

Verbalise your thoughts and feelings

Most of my private clients who come for a couple therapy tend to say that their partner stops loving them a few years after marriage. Very often, love is there, but feelings are not verbalised and expressed. People try to show their love in a way that is familiar to them and expect their partner to read between the lines. From a cultural perspective, every couple is a mixed couple, even if they come from the same country. The ‘cultural differences’ are due to different parenting styles we are all exposed to. You can learn more about parenting styles here.

Remember that each family is a separate small society that experiences the world in a subjective and unique way. For this reason, when you try to show something to someone, they might misunderstand it. Instead of showing – talk, verbalise and express.

Did you know that verbalisation is one of the main tools when undergoing a psychodynamic psychotherapy? There is nothing more powerful than talking – openly and sincerely.

Have regular discussions

Having regular discussions gives you the opportunity to update each other on things that are going between you. You also show that you are interested in your partner’s feelings and experiences. International research has demonstrated that talking strengthens your relationship and increases trust. This is because your partner and yourself feel heard and valued. Block a proper time to share around your frustrations, disappointment, expectations, sex, and your future. Talk to your partner and learn to listen as well.

The dyad ‘talking-listening’ is always your best friend.

Work as a team

Partnership is a team work. This means that your partner and yourself work together towards the same goal. Please note that when partners have different life objectives, it is difficult to build a strong and healthy loving relationship. Strive to work together, support and respect each other. This is the foundation of your couple. Even if love is there, when life goals are different, there is a risk for love to gradually disappear.

When there is a problem between you, don’t solve it ‘my way’ or ‘your way’, but find a solution that applies to both of you. This is called a compromise. It might sound like a cliché, but it really works.

Keep intimacy and sex alive in your relationship

Intimacy and sex are the root that feed your tree of love. You always need to update the relationship and bring something new and exciting. You need to seduce your partner again and again, so they will have a feeling your relationship is about to renovate itself. Keep in mind that from the moment you start to live together, the romantic moments from the beginning are no longer so romantic. Daily routine, including washing dishes, laundry, paying bills and going to work, takes a lot of space. Everyone can block time and be fun, don’t you agree?

If you think that you need a couple therapy, don’t hesitate to get in touch on info@angelpsychology.com. You can learn more about family and couple therapy here. Don’t forget that my website www.angelpsychology.com offers a wide range of scientific-based information. Check it out.

With warm wishes,

Dr Ivanka Ezhova

Founder of Angel Psychological Therapy – Online Psychological Therapy