Why do people hate each other?

This article will give you some explanations regarding the difficulties to communicate and to interact in a positive way with each other.

We live in a world with a constantly increasing population. There are about 7.5 billion people on Earth today, so we need to take into account that we are not alone. There are always other people around us and we must pay attention to them.

Diplomacy, kindness, respect, loyalty, consideration, and love are the core of a healthy and relationship. They represent a kind of symbolic law that tells us: “This is how you need to interact. This is what you need to do. This is the right way”.

Then, why is it so difficult to be together?

IMITATION AND SOCIAL COMPARISON

To answer the question, let’s have a look at two fundamental principles, involved in children’s development.

Do you know what are the very first behaviours that babies develop to construct their identity? These are imitation and social comparison. Those of you who have children have probably observed that when a baby sees other babies crying, he/she starts crying as well. You might think that there is no reason for your baby to cry. You are wrong. There is an important reason: by imitating what other babies do, your baby tries to socialise and to be part of this specific group. Later on, your kids imitate and compare themselves to their peers and friends in school to socialise and be accepted by them. If they don’t do it, that means that they are different, they are a minority, or they are “not cool”. In other words, if their peers don’t pay attention to them, it’s like they don’t exist. You also should know that we behave in this way throughout our whole life.

Now, you are probably asking yourself at what moment do the problems occur? Problems happen when it is no longer enough for people to imitate and compare themselves to others; they start feeling they need to have more, to perform better, to be more successful, in other words to show those around them: “I am better than you”.

Keep in mind that wanting to be the best is the smaller issue. The bigger one is that often people try to compare to very notable and prosperous individuals. Today, we all have access to a variety of information and we are connected to each other on social networks. This is where everybody shows the best of themselves even if sometimes their life is not so bright and perfect.

The point here is that this creates a kind of illusion that everybody can be successful. Many people start thinking that it’s not difficult to gain a lot of money, to be popular, to have the perfect body and so on. The process is the following: “If they can, I can also”.

The truth is that if you continually imitate and compare yourself to somebody else, you will never be happy because you are not focused on your own life, personal growth and achievements. Instead, you try to live somebody else’s life. And this is how hating occurs.

I CAN’T BE LIKE YOU, THAT’S WHY I HATE YOU

This is the hidden side of the processes of imitation and social comparison. ‘Haters’ are those who are not satisfied with what they’ve achieved and with who they are. Haters are those who don’t want to be inspired by someone. They want to be exactly like them.

The good news is that there is a solution. Instead of comparing yourself to someone else, focus on how you were three months ago, six months ago or a couple of years ago. This is how you will notice your own commitment, evolution and progress. The only competition that matters is the one you have with yourself. This gives you the opportunity to celebrate your own victories and to focus on yourself. The best financial and emotional investment you can make is when you invest time and energy in yourself. You cannot love others if you don’t love yourself. You can’t respect them, if you don’t respect yourself. You cannot be successful, if you don’t work on your own success. Everything starts from inside to outside. It’s never the opposite.